Blog Archive (12)

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 While you can't control what comes your way, you get to choose your outlook, every minute of every day.  Why not choose to be happy?  Laugh in the good times and roll with the punches, but always finding a reason  to smile.  Science has proven that merely putting a smile on your face makes you feel happier.  Try it!  I have found that singing also works for me.  Experiment to find your own happiness triggers.  You will see that making a habit of choosing happiness will reset your default personality as positive and loving.  You will naturally see the wonder and joy around you as you go through your day.  You will also feel and give off a positive energy that warms you and all whom you encounter.  Most importantly, you will build an inner contentedness that no person or event can disturb.  It's your choice.         

 "Never hide the real you just because you think it may be ugly to others. They can see it anyway." This advice came from my grandfather.  Poppa was a loving, inspiring cheerleader of our passions, but perhaps most memorably, an insightful champion of integrity and genuineness.

Only you can know the real you, the inner golden person likely wrapped under years of layers of socialized disguise.  Let you out! Embrace, celebrate and show your true self.  Let go of any pretenses that you may been displaying just to please others.  You are likely only fooling yourself as others see your through incongruent layers. If it helps, make mental reminders for daily habits of living as you wish to be. As your inner genuineness matches your outward projection, you will feel a wonderful, blossoming contentment and will shine to others as well. 

 My posts are all geared, in some way, toward minimizing internal conflict in favor of inner tranquility.   We've all, at times, agreed to do things that we didn't want, said "yes" when we thought "no", pretended an emotion that we didn't feel.  All of these actions increase internal conflict, eat away at the real you, and never serve any meaningful purpose.  

External conflicts are bound to arise with others whom we can't control, but we CAN control ourselves.  Reject expectations that others may have for you; follow your heart and gut to act as you know to be right for you.  Day after day you will build a solid foundation for your integrity and contentment.  Remember that anyone who truly loves you will never expect or ask you to be anyone other than who you really are.  You shouldn't either.

 This time of year we hear much mention of  "Christmas Spirit", which is, quite simply, lovingkindness. 

Unconditional. Universal.  Constant.  

Let's make this our perspective all year long.  Challenge yourself daily to never waver.  Pause and let go of any negative thoughts.  Catch any negative words and actions before they happen.  

Start with lovingkindness for yourself.  Really mean it - reflect often and become the person you want to be.  Forgive yourself at the end of each day  if you think, say or do something you wish you hadn't.  Then renew your commitment to unconditional kindness. Let's love and respect each other more.  Let's pack the peace train. 2019 will be a wonderful yea

 What is this "mindfulness" that many say can bring meaning to our lives?  To me, it is simply paying careful attention to your surroundings and your thoughts.  With this awareness, you can pause before saying or doing something that you can't take back.  

We are so used to multi-tasking and reacting quickly to conversation and events that it will take "retraining" to cultivate true awareness and pause for reflection.  But, what a payoff!  Ideally, we can be in such calm control of our thoughts and actions that we will always speak and act with genuine kindness and compassion.  What's more, this awareness or "presence" offers a keen appreciation for every moment and every person and thing in the moment.  Observe details and listen carefully, without judgment.  Resist the temptation of distraction. You will more often feel totally connected with the people and things around you - mindful, in the flow of life.     

Get your hands dirty!  The truly meaningful life experiences occur only when we fully engage ourselves, open and vulnerable to any outcome.  There is no joy without the possibility of pain or heartbreak, and vice versa.  Since pain is inevitable, why not try new things or interactions that might bring you joy?  Want to dance? Dance! Want to talk to someone you've been reluctant to approach? Just do it!  By engaging yourself, you will demonstrate the courage to live authentically, true to the real you, unafraid of how others may react.  If you live on the sidelines, staying "clean", you'll never see the color that engaging in life can bring.